Have you ever heard words similar to the above to begin a meeting? Whenever I do, I think, “Are you kidding me? Fuck that shit!”

If you are here in the halls, it’s because you abused your body and your mind with alcohol and/or drugs. The word “profanity” comes from the word “profane” and that means: desecration – referring to the contemptuous and irreverent treatment of a holy or sacred principle or thing. Most of us have done profane things, not the least of which would be taking the Lord’s name in vain. We are all guilty of desecrating our bodies (which are holy in that they are God’s work), and perhaps our marriages (a union in the sight of God) along with a laundry list of other deadly sins (gluttony and sloth come to mind). How then, I ask, can they expect us to avoid the use of profanity?

The answer is twofold: First, A.A. and N.A. meetings are generally not home to truly profane speaking as described above and, therefore, they are asking us to watch our mouths for cuss words. They can’t really expect us to totally avoid those – it’s a fucking waste of breath. So why must we treat cuss words as some alternative form of blasphemy?

Oftentimes it’s because our meetings take place in church buildings; this fact often serves as one ostensible reason for a group conscience bent on keeping the meeting clean. However, I don’t know of any group actually meets in a chapel or sanctuary. With nary a pulpit, pew, or Christ on a cross in sight, it amuses me we must forbid words such as “fuck” or “shit,” because we are in a church building. When you think about it, it’s as random as suggesting that profanity is unacceptable in a car in a church’s parking lot.

As for swearing being offensive to the newcomers and their families, I really doubt it. For one thing, many newcomers were raised in a society where swearing is far more acceptable than forty years ago (when I was first became acquainted with drinks and drugs). Over the last decade, I have heard words used on TV that were once taboo. Words like “bastard,” “bitch” and even an occasional “shit” turn up on the tube nowadays.

Never mind all that, let’s say that I agreed that we should curb swear words in open meeting, who is to say exactly what a “swear” word is? Go ahead and try to define the list consistently. I agree that there are certain words are so far out of line that I won’t mention them here. My wife and I certainly have different ideas on what does or does not constitute a swear word and I dare say some in a genteel society would question words that I think are acceptable. I’m not talking about attacking someone within the group using such words or condoning their use to convey sexual activity as that would clearly be out of line in any group meeting. I am also not suggesting that a speaker’s monologue should be replete with such words ad infinitum.

The fact is that many newcomers have so much difficulty controlling their body’s ability to function normally and are so incapable of expressing their feelings that they are much more likely to use profanity than long timers, whether young or old. It’s understandable, isn’t it?

Additionally, it is laughable that there is a distinction between the two most frequently used naughty words. I know one woman who gets red and angry and snaps at me when I use the word “fuck” as an expletive when I am talking to someone before the meeting starts. However, when it serves her pleasure she feels quite comfortable saying “shit” in the same circumstances.

Isn’t that a double standard? You bet your fucking ass it is! In addition, by the way, the words “friggen” or “frickin” are no better since their use is to convey the word that the speaker wants to use but are too proper to say aloud.

The fact is that people developed these programs long ago in a far different society; in the modern fellowship, we have to expect a level of profanity from the profane people who inhabit it. In order for A.A., N.A. and others of their ilk to survive, the programs must be living, breathing, and able to change.

In some respects, this whole idea of profanity use brings to mind the fable, The Frog and the Scorpion, which, in pertinent part, goes like this:

A scorpion approached a frog by the side of a river. The scorpion wanted to cross the river and asked the frog if he might ride over to the other side on the frog’s back. The frog replied that he wasn’t that stupid as to allow the scorpion to get within stinger range.The scorpion promised the frog that he would do no such thing. “After all,” said the scorpion, “if I sting you before climbing on your back I will never get across the river and if I sting you as we voyage across the river I will die as well.”

Well, the frog relented and the scorpion climbed aboard the back of the frog and they started out across the river. Halfway across the river, the frog felt the scorpion sting him and he exclaimed, “You fool, look what you have done? You have killed us both. Why did you do that?”
To which the scorpion replied, “I could not help myself. You see, it is my nature.”

Peace out,
M
In Recovery Blog