Category Archives: Heard In The Halls

The Anthropomorphism of Addiction

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Remember that we deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us.  (Alcoholics Anonymous, 1st. Edition,
How It Works, Page 58)(Emphasis added)

As we can see from the quote above, the anthropomorphism of alcoholism comes directly from The Big Book. For centuries man has debated the question of what alcoholism is or is not. Current American Medical Association dogma states that alcoholism is a disease.

The AMA

1. endorses the proposition that drug dependencies, including alcoholism, are diseases and that their treatment is a legitimate part of medical practice (http://www.ama-assn.org/resources/doc/alcohol/alcoholism_treatable.pdf, retrieved 12/24/11)

However, AA itself has never directly endorsed the idea that Alcoholism is a disease. In fact, as late as 1960, Bill Wilson stated,

We have never called alcoholism a disease because, technically speaking, it is not a disease entity For example, there is no such thing as heart disease. Instead there are many separate heart ailments, or combinations of them. It is something like that with alcoholism. Therefore we did not wish to get in wrong with the medical profession by pronouncing alcoholism a disease entity. Therefore we always called it an illness, or a malady—a far safer term for us to use.(Emphasis added). (National  Clergy Conference on Alcoholism, Volume 12, P199, Retrieved from http://www.silkworth.net/religion_clergy/01052.html, 12/30/2011 at 7:55 AM) (Emphasis added)

Entity? Alcoholism is not a “disease entity”? What does that mean exactly? I understand that Bill W’s spoke these words an eternity ago in relation to current thinking on drug and alcohol addiction. By giving life to alcoholism, by referencing it as a cunning, baffling, powerful disease entity we give it an unnerving presence.

How many times have you heard an addict or alcoholic sharing their experience by mentioning that the disease had its claws into them or stole from them or wanted something from them, etc.? I am not sure it is healthy for us to refer to our disease in human or satanic terms.

By giving life to the disease, have we not disassociated our culpability for our actions and the resultant effects on our friends and loved ones? Is that wise? Is it morally or spiritually correct? I don’t pretend to know the answers to any of these questions. I have no clinical training and am trying to remember to take my inventory and leave you, dear reader, to your own.

I have never referred to my disease as being caused by anyone but me. No cunning, baffling disease entity made me do anything. Some of it is genetic (nature) and some of it environment (nurture). The nature vs. nurture argument has long been debated. I believe that we are products of both nature and nurture. But that’s it.

So, devil, get ye gone. I’ll have no part of you nor will you of me. I have faced the facts that I can’t use alcohol or drugs in safety and am man enough to know that it was me in every flawed aspect of myself that wanted and did what I did to me, my family and my friends. Now I have to live with it.

Peace out,
M
In Recovery Blog Facebook Page

Nothing Good Ever Happened in a Bar

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Glittering generalities was one of the seven main propaganda techniques identified by the Institute for Propaganda Analysis in 1938 (http://library.thinkquest.org/C0111500/proptech.htm, Retrieved 10/09/2011 @ 2:14 PM)

Nothing good ever happened in a bar.

How’s that for a glittering generality? I heard the thought in question, at a meeting on 10/8/2011 at the No-Frills meeting of the Friendship Center in Derry, NH. A group of us who knew each other from a secret Facebook group for AA (so clandestine that if I told you the name I would have to kill you) went to this meeting in order that we could actually meet each other and put faces to the avatars on our Facebook accounts.

I wrote the saying down with the idea that it was a great statement and made total sense, worthy of amplifying from this bully pulpit. However, reason sank in when I began to try to add some meat to its bones.

The fact is that good things do happen in bars. I’ve heard great music in bars, met awesome people, watched exciting sports events, eaten delicious meals, enjoyed laughter and camaraderie with my peers, danced the night away with abandon (and my wife), and so forth.

I know that many bad things have happened in bars, both to others and me. Many of us have sown the seeds of driving under the influence, vehicular homicide, destruction of property, domestic violence, adultery, and other poor and criminal behavior. The good thing is that I no longer have to worry about engaging in any of the above while under the influence because I just don’t drink today. However, many people (shall we call them normal?) have had wonderful things happen in bars without the attendant bad things that could have happened and didn’t.

We need be careful of glittering generalities; propaganda is always propaganda, even when it seems to make sense. Question everything and then decide for yourself. Debate principles of various programs vis-à-vis what books state, what people say and even your own thoughts on any given day. Examine and reexamine as you move forward; a meaningful idea must have more than thought behind it – a fact isn’t a fact unless we have good evidence to back it up. Avoid the use of “no one,” “nothing,” “never,” “all” and “every” to the extent possible.

The idea that the Twelve Steps of AA or NA (or any other step program) is sacrosanct, an immutable law of life, is simply untrue. The only part of our recovery we need to do perfectly is to stop doing what is ruining or killing us (times however many things we are doing that we ought not to do). The rest may or may not apply as we grow within and through our own recovery program. Everyone’s program is different, just as is everyone’s journey to and through sobriety.

The truisms that guide us are not always as “true” as we might think. Whenever you hear something in the halls and think, “That’s a wonderful concept, a real chestnut to keep for another day,” perhaps you might be best to think, “That’s a chestnut for another day, but before I eat it, let me roast it and see how it tastes after I’ve had it cooking for a while.”

Peace out,
M
In Recovery Facebook Page

We Drink the Poison to Watch Them Die

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Romeo:
Eyes, look your last!
Arms, take your last embrace! and, lips, O you
The doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss
A dateless bargain to engrossing death!
Come, bitter conduct, come, unsavoury guide!
Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on
The dashing rocks thy sea-sick weary bark!
Here’s to my love!
Drinks the poison
O true apothecary!
Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die
.- W. Shakespeare (Romeo and Juliet, Act V Scene III)

My friend, Janet, who is very much my spiritual advisor, originally said, “We drink the poison to watch them die,” to me quite a while ago while she was (as usual) poking me in the chest.

She was referring to the typical, “I’ll show them” approach to my life as an alcoholic and addict. Hers too. You know what I mean, right?

Wife: You shouldn’t eat those cookies.
Addict: (to himself): I’ll show you! I’ll go out and eat a whole box. Who cares if I’m a diabetic and obese? She’ll see whom she’s dealing with now! You bet she well. Oh, yes.

Doctor: You must realize that you have impaired liver function and that additional drinking could lead to cirrhosis and eventually death.
Alcoholic: (to herself): What does he know? I can still drink a little. Dr’s harumph!

Hazardous? Positively! Childish? Certainly! Stupid? Absolutely!

The urge to run into danger when warned of impending doom flies in the face of reason and human nature. What happened to the whole fight or flight response? Seemingly danger draws us to what may kill us as a moth to flame

Why do we gravitate toward the very things that will kill or ruin us when we warned off them?Why eat donuts at AA meetings after your Dr. says you are on the way to becoming diabetic? Why drink a bottle of Grey Goose when you’ve know you have an impaired liver? Why go to the casino when you’re broke?

Why?

Because I will show you, yes I will! I will take the poison to watch you die. Don’t tell me how to act or what to do, think, or say. It’s none of your business where I am or what I am doing, I’m a grown-up. Worry about your own self. Take your own inventory and leave me alone!

Fortunately, I have begun to see the error of my cut the nose off to spite my face attitude. I am 7.5 months sober which is the longest since even before I had a “problem,” going all the way back to Middle School (which we used to call Jr. High School). I stopped shopping at Amazon (except where it absolutely makes sense per my wife), I avoid eating donuts and cookies at meetings (still working on it) and I just don’t drink (even though my drinking never got the best of me, per se, and was the least of my myriad addictions).

Part of my success to date is simply smartening up and recognizing a bad idea before I act on it. Part of this acceptance – understanding that I need to accept criticisms of my actions when they are accurate and acting accordingly. The final part is understanding that I need to do the next right thing every day and that includes knowing that there are certain things I just can’t do safely any more. Not even once.

Peace out,
|M